Category Archives: Race

Bringing Up The Rear

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I heard the muted giggles and snickering before the object of the public ridicule caught my attention.

Call me ‘old fashioned,’ “not hip” and, perhaps, “out of touch,” but there is something very wrong and not cute about inappropriate clothing behavior…especially among Black people.

Some might raise the bar and suggest that it is unacceptable, (or acceptable?) regardless of race.

That is neither my argument or the point I am making.

As Black people, we have a shared responsibility to lift one another up and encourage each other to always put the best foot forward or at least make the effort.

What one wears in the comfort of their home is an entirely separate matter.

Once outside, parts of the anatomy that are typically covered need to stay that way.

If you have a 36″ waist, those 32″ jeans are no longer appropriate because, simply put, they don’t fit.

While low hanging jeans project a fashion forward image when worn by an artist or a pro-“baller,” if you are neither, pull your pants up and put a belt on it.

First impressions count.

They matter.

This I know is to be true…especially as we all struggle for equality and the right to be treated with respect and dignity.

The next time you see someone that you love, care about and/or have a vested interest in – all young people – pay it forward.

Tell them the difference between self-expression and self-respect.

Tell them to put a belt on it, to cover up and tell them that you are doing it because you love them.

Sister, you looking real good…

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My friend Ticia is a beautiful Black woman.

Inside and out.

She is a single mom, raising a young man and, despite the pressures of balancing work and everyday life demands, Ticia holds it down.

Like so many others, she makes sacrifices in order to give her son, Justin, a good life.

A product of a single parent upbringing myself, I stand in awe of the strength, resilience and sheer determination of Black women who, despite the odds, manage to raise strong, productive Black men.

We were talking recently and she told me a story that will undoubtedly be familiar to many.

The sight of a single Black woman in a barber shop is not a new phenomenon.

What “she” often times has to endure is another story.

Last week Ticia took her son to get a haircut.

“You want your son to have a nice line and look good.”

Instead of focusing on the task of cutting Justin’s hair, the barber focused on Ticia. Literally.

“Sister, you looking really good sitting there all fine and s%#t.”

“My, my my…You not from around here are you?!”

“You remind me of that honey in the new Steve Harvey joint, but you finer.”

Finer?
Really?

The end result is that Justin ended up with a jacked-up haircut.

Frustrated, Ticia had to find another barber shop and have the damage repaired.

Now, before I go any further, I have to say that this is not an attack on my brothers who cut hair for a living.

I have no beef with anyone’s hustle, but there are always a few who can’t help but forget to exercise decorum and professionalism.

After all, it is a business.

A good business model dictates that if one does a good job providing a service, the customer will be satisfied, the customer will pay and reward the business with repeat visits and patronage.

Like driving a car or any other activity involving machinery, one has to keep their eyes and attention focused on the activity at hand.

It is not cool to try and rap to a mother in front of her child. Ever.

If she politely rebuffs you, that is not an attempt to “play hard to get.”

Truth be told, she is probably just not that into you.

Besides, she didn’t come to the barber shop with her child in search of a man.

We can never forget that we are all role models for our youth and this a responsibility that cannot be taken lightly…

“Careful the things you say Children will listen Careful the things you do Children will see and learn Children may not obey, but children will listen Children will look to you for which way to turn To learn what to be Careful before you say “Listen to me” Children will listen”

– Stephen Sondheim

The Thing About Aunt Jemima

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I’ve got this thing for Aunt Jemima.

Long before Oprah, Aunt Jemima was the first Black female icon to gain welcome entrance into homes across America, both Black and White.

This dates back to the late 1800’s.

I acknowledge and disavow the negative racial stereotypes associated with the early incarnations of Aunt Jemima.

Admittedly, my fascination has more to do with the power of the brand – Aunt Jemima empowered and inspired consumers, making them believe that they could capture “her special magic” simply by adding wet ingredients to a dry mix.

There are three Aunt Jemima print ads, circa 1943, on my kitchen wall.

They remind me, daily, that as advertisers, we have a responsibility to help craft responsible messages that are authentic, relevant, engaging and absent of offensive and derogatory stereotypes.

For additional reading on the subject, check out —

Slave in a Box: The Strange Career of Aunt Jemima by M.M. Manning

The Grace of Silence, A Memoir by Michele Norris, whose grandmother portrayed Aunt Jemima, selling pancake mix to midwest housewives

Black Characters in Search of Reality, A New York Times Opinion by Brent Staples

Shattering Stereotypes – Black Women Define Themselves

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My mom sent me an article today that appeared in the Washington Post, “Survey Paints Portrait of Black Women in America.”

The article is part of a series.

The basis of this article, as well as subsequent articles in the series, is from a survey conducted by The Washington Post and the Kaiser Family Foundation.

It included interviews with over eight hundred Black women.

“…(it) represents the most extensive exploration of the lives and views of African American women in decades.”

The findings shatter stereotypes and misconceptions.

Furthermore, the interviewees add dimension, substance and provide a more accurate assessment of “Who” the Black Woman in America is today…and what is truly important and motivating to her.

Check it out.

DIVA ON A DIME – Wealth isn’t characterized by Income and Spending Alone

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Last February, I posted a blog, “Meet Miss Recessionista.”

It spoke to how women are “holding it down” – surviving the economic crunch, shifting priorities and doing the same (and in some cases, more) with less.

One year later, surviving in a tough economic climate is still prevalent among all consumers, but especially African-Americans.

While unemployment declined to 8.5%, African-American unemployment rose to 15.8%.

Taking nothing away from my brothers, it is fact that sisters are more actively involved and engaged in the shopping process.

To that point, there is an article, “Living Large On Less,” in the February issue of ESSENCE Magazine.

The cover “tease” boasts DIVA ON A DIME – How You Can Do More With Less.

Part of an on-going series, the article examines

“…how women are spending and saving in these uncertain times. Three ESSENCE readers – a teacher, an accountant and an entrepreneur – give up the goods on how to afford the the things you love.”

Check it out.