Tag Archives: barber shops

Sister, you looking real good…

My friend Ticia is a beautiful Black woman.

Inside and out.

She is a single mom, raising a young man and, despite the pressures of balancing work and everyday life demands, Ticia holds it down.

Like so many others, she makes sacrifices in order to give her son, Justin, a good life.

A product of a single parent upbringing myself, I stand in awe of the strength, resilience and sheer determination of Black women who, despite the odds, manage to raise strong, productive Black men.

We were talking recently and she told me a story that will undoubtedly be familiar to many.

The sight of a single Black woman in a barber shop is not a new phenomenon.

What “she” often times has to endure is another story.

Last week Ticia took her son to get a haircut.

“You want your son to have a nice line and look good.”

Instead of focusing on the task of cutting Justin’s hair, the barber focused on Ticia. Literally.

Sister, you looking really good sitting there all fine and s%#t.”

“My, my my…You not from around here are you?!”

“You remind me of that honey in the new Steve Harvey joint, but you finer.”

Finer?
Really?

The end result is that Justin ended up with a jacked-up haircut.

Frustrated, Ticia had to find another barber shop and have the damage repaired.

Now, before I go any further, I have to say that this is not an attack on my brothers who cut hair for a living.

I have no beef with anyone’s hustle, but there are always a few who can’t help but forget to exercise decorum and professionalism.

After all, it is a business.

A good business model dictates that if one does a good job providing a service, the customer will be satisfied, the customer will pay and reward the business with repeat visits and patronage.

Like driving a car or any other activity involving machinery, one has to keep their eyes and attention focused on the activity at hand.

It is not cool to try and rap to a mother in front of her child. Ever.

If she politely rebuffs you, that is not an attempt to “play hard to get.”

Truth be told, she is probably just not that into you.

Besides, she didn’t come to the barber shop with her child in search of a man.

We can never forget that we are all role models for our youth and this a responsibility that cannot be taken lightly…

“Careful the things you say Children will listen Careful the things you do Children will see and learn Children may not obey, but children will listen Children will look to you for which way to turn To learn what to be Careful before you say “Listen to me” Children will listen”

– Stephen Sondheim

Good Hair

On February 25, 2009 I sent an email that contained the following text to friends, clients and co-workers.

It also included the link below.

A co-worker recently asked me,
“What is with your obsession with hair, barber shops and beauty parlors?”

Obsession? No.
Fascination? Yes!

The answer is steeped in both African-American cultural and marketing identity.
Did any of you, outside of Carol Sagers, know that the Black-hair industry is a $9 billion business?

That is $9 billion with a “b!”

I recently had the opportunity to view a new (not-yet-released) documentary from Chris Rock called “Good Hair.”

This term is all too familiar to African-Americans and, in the hands of Rock, one can well imagine what he reveals on the subject…with both humor, informative insight and candid style.

From frank discussions about relaxer (“creamy crack”), the Bronner Brothers Hair Show and their “Hair Battle Royale,” weaves, jheri curls, wigs and finger waves, “Good Hair” explores the financial ramifications of an industry that is fueled by African-Americans.

I walked away from the film further convinced that, even in the midst of economic challenges, (and in some cases, hardship), African-Americans buy what they want…all marketers have to do is provide them with compelling reasons to select their brand and/or product.

On February 23 “Good Hair” was released on DVD.
…and the Black Hair care industry is still a $9 billion (and growing!!) business.

 

Sticks and stones and a few words about the "N" word…

What image comes to mind when you hear the word “nigger?”

Think about it.

After all, it is 2010 and we are still having the conversation about its use and the inappropriateness associated with it.

Regardless of our background, we all know people who have used it.

So perhaps it is best to revisit the rules…

White people get no pass, “hood” or otherwise.
Pay attention John Mayer.
Permission is not granted to use the word – in gest, or otherwise.

Much was recently made of Senator Harry Reid’s use of the word with regard to then-potential Presidential candidate Barack Obama. I read the book “Game Change” and my impression is that Reid’s remarks were inappropriate, but in no way appeared grounded in malice.

I am not naive.
A racist is racist.
Like x-ray vision one can see “it” through a brick wall.

I once worked for an individual, who was, despite protestation and by all accounts, a racist.

In what the individual believed to be “confidential” circumstances, – no Black people present, or so they thought, – they flagrantly used the word.

This person knew and fully understood they were wrong…
Nigger was used in an almost whispered tone. Not only was there comprehension about the gravity of the word’s use, its inappropriateness was also understood.

Yesterday I was getting a haircut – at an African-American barber shop – and counted the number of times I heard the word used. In a 30 minute period, the count was eighteen. Eighteen times in a half hour! Employees and patrons alike peppered their conversation with it-

Salutation – “What’s up my nigger?”
Exaggeration – “Nigger please…”

The difference is that in these instances, there was no malicious intent or derision.

While I personally don’t approve the use of the word by Black people, culturally, it is allowed.

Permission is granted.

It is part the African-American vernacular and, in many cases, accepted as such.

This debate is not going away. Nor is the use (appropriate or not) of the word, by Black or White people.

I am intrigued and inspired by three quotes I unearthed by three different indviduals – two having to do specifically with the word nigger and one that was born out of much broader implications and circumstances.

In the forward to his book, “Nigger,” Dick Gregory wrote a special note to his mother –

“Whenever you hear the word ‘Nigger’,” he said, “you’ll know they’re advertising my book.”

Gregory masterfully turned what, on the surface, was a negative into a thought-provoking and challenging positive.

Whoopi Goldberg, commenting on the word nigger:

“I don’t know any and I’ve never been one.”

Goldberg’s refusal to accept a label, which neither fits or defines, suggests that anyone who uses it simply doesn’t understand “who” or “what” they are talking about.

Lastly, former First Lady, Eleanor Roosevelt:

“No one makes you feel inferior without your consent.”

When we refuse to succumb to demeaning labels, but accept the fact that we are individuals, unique and equal in our common humanity, we win. We defeat those who use words to define us.

Image:
Three Little Children, 1944
William H. Johnson (American, 1901 -1970)
Smithsonian American Art Museum
Smithsonian Institue

Editor’s Note:

I was hasty in my reference to Senator Reid’s remarks in the book Game Change. His quote did not use the word “nigger,” but language that was interpreted by some to have a similiar tone. Reid was wowed by Obama’s oratorical gifts and believed that the country was ready to embrace a black presidential candidate, especially one such as Obama:

“a ‘light-skinned’ African American with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one,” as he said privately.”

Reid was convinced, in fact, that Obama’s race would help him more than hurt him in a bid for the Democratic nomination.